A touching reminder of Edsa I

Sorry Ms Ellen, as you already much aware, I don’t normally do this, but this I just can’t resist. Someone email it to me and I would like to share it with you and your bloggers, “Interview With Manny Pacquiao”. I thought it’s funny.

Balita -USA
PERRYSCOPE
Perry Diaz

Interview with Manny Pacquiao

Whew! Finally, I was able to get an interview with Manny Pacquiao. I met him at the bar in the Shangri-La Hotel in Makati last week. Manny ordered a shot of Remy Martin XO and I settled for a San Miguel beer. Manny seemed quite relaxed.

I asked him how life was treating him? “Never been better,” he replied, “things are really looking up.” “I can see,” I said. Manny was wearing a Tommy Bahama Hawaiian shirt, a large diamond-studded gold crucifix around his neck, a pair of 5-carat diamond earrings, and a humongous Marc Ecko watch.

“I hope that you’ll remain physically and mentally fit for the biggest challenge of your life. I heard that you’re running for Congress. Is it true?” Manny smiled and said, “Absolutely! I still do my daily workout but recently I started reading a lot of books on politics. The late Senate President Amang Rodriguez is my hero. Amang’s motto was ‘Politics is addition’ and I agree with him. But I don’t add myself. I let my accountant do the addition for me. He he he…”

I asked him my first question: “Why are you running for political office?” Manny pondered the question for a moment and then said, “Actually, Congress is just a stepping stone for me because I’ll be running for President in 2010.” “Wow! That’s fantastic,” I said, “and how are you going to prove yourself in Congress to become a serious presidential contender in 2010?” “That’s easy, first I’m going to balance the trade deficit,” Manny explained, “it’s like boxing, the more punches I throw at my opponent the better off I am.” “Hmm…” I said thinking aloud, “it’s like trading punches….” “You got it!” Manny retorted. “But how are you going to balance the trade deficit?” I asked. “Easy,” he said, “I’ll stop importing goods.” “Hmmm… I guess that would solve the problem,” I conceded.

My second question to Manny was: “How are you going to solve the population explosion in the Philippines? I can see — with your six-inch crucifix — that you are a practicing Catholic which means that you’re probably against abortion, right?” Manny replied,“I consider abortion a murder, plain and simple, no ifs and buts.” “I don’t mean to put you on a spot,” I asked, “I know this is a sticky issue but how are you going to control population explosion?” “Easy, my friend,” Manny answered, “I’ll push for legislation that would make civilicy mandatory after two children are born in a family.” “Huh? What do you mean by civilicy?” I asked. And he said, “Civilicy, you know… no more sex.” “Oh! You mean celibacy,” I said. “Yes, yes… that’s the right word,” he replied and then explained, “You see, it works in China. So it should also work in the Philippines.”

I realized then that Manny is smarter that I think. So I asked him a more complex issue: “Manny, more than 3,000 Filipinos are leaving everyday for overseas to find jobs. How are you going to stop the ‘Brain Drain’? We’re having a shortage of professionals particularly the doctors and nurses because they’re all leaving for good-paying jobs abroad.” He took a sip of his cognac, swirled it and gulped it. Then he said, “The problem why Filipinos are leaving is because there are no jobs here or in the case of doctors and nurses, they’re underpaid, right?” “You said it,” I replied. Then he said, “So, what I am going to do is attract foreign companies to set up manufacturing plants here and pay no taxes for 15 years. And to sweeten the pot, I’ll lease them the land at one peso a year for 25 years.” “I’m listening…go on,” I said. He continued, “That will create jobs and industrialize the Philippines within seven years. I will adopt Joe De Venecia’s ‘747 Plan,’ that is, sustainable growth of 7% for 7 years. We will then become an exporting nation and we’ll have trade surplus instead of deficit. That’s the key to our progress. We‘ll become an economic tiger.” His face glowed in triumph.

“Manny,” I asked, “where did you get all these ideas? They’re out of sight!” “Perry, leading a country is like boxing,” he said. “Oh? And how is that?” I queried. He explained, “My secret in boxing is that I let my opponent hit me with painless jabs for several rounds. After five rounds, he’ll get tired and become reckless with his defense. That’s when I go for the knockout. It works all the time. You’ve seen my bouts with Erik Morales, right?” “Of course, I’ve seen all three. You’re the best, Manny,” I complimented him.

I changed the subject and said, “Now, let’s talk about the biggest problem in our country, corruption. How are you going to wipe out corruption?” “Ha! That’s my favorite issue,” he quipped. “Well, let’s hear it then,” I urged him. And he said, “You see, we have corruption because we allow it to happen and corrupt officials aren’t afraid because, except in the military — as in the case of Gen. Carlos Garcia — nobody goes to jail for corruption. Well, we’ll just have to be like the military. You said it yourself in one of your columns.” “No kidding, you read my columns?” I asked. He replied, “All the time. In one of your articles, you said that poverty is the symptom, corruption is the disease, and discipline is the prescription. I agree with you and that’s what I am going to do — have discipline in the government. Corrupt officials will pay a high price and that is: jail time.” “I am pretty sure that would scare a lot of corrupt officials,” I said.

“You just mentioned another big issue — poverty. How are you going to deal with it?” I asked. He replied, “Like I said, and you said it, poverty is the symptom and corruption is the disease. Stop corruption and the life of the people will improve. Look at Singapore. It is one of the least corrupt countries in the world and it has one of the highest per capita income. Lee Chiang Yee was a disciplinarian.” “You mean, Lee Kuan Yew,” I corrected him. “Whatever,” he said, “but what will eventually eradicate poverty is a combination of many things. But the most important are industrialization and fighting corruption.”

“Manny, you’re talking like a statesman, not politician,” I said. “I’ve never been in politics so I am not a politician. I love my country and people,” he said and made the sign of the cross. “Talking of which, how are you going to defeat your political opponents?” I asked and then added, “they’re heavyweights.” He became defensive and said, “Heavyweights! Listen to me, they may be heavyweights but they don’t know how to punch. You probably weigh about 220 pounds, right?” “Yes,” I said meekly. He said, “So you’re a heavyweight too. Do you know how to punch? Okay, let’s try it, punch me, come on, punch me.” It sounded like a command. “I don’t want to punch you, Manny,” I said. “Well,” he said, “then I’ll show you how I punch a heavyweight like you.” And before I could react, I heard my jawbone cracked. I fell from my chair and suddenly the room was dark. I was seeing thousands of twinkling little stars. And before I hit the floor, the bell rang. I was saved by the bell. I sat up on the floor and Manny was gone. And my alarm clock was still ringing. I must have had a nightmare.

PerryDiaz@aol.com)