I posted in my blog the news item that a few hours after boxing great Manny Pacquiao was named ambassador of peace and understanding by Gloria Arroyo, Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez appointed him “special assistant to the Secretary of Justice on intelligence matters.”
Gonzalez’ order said Pacquiao, who holds the rank of master sergeant in the Armed Forces of the Philippines, “may coordinate with the National Bureau of Investigation in the enforcement of this mandate.”
In a matter of minutes, my blog, which is classified as political, turned hilarious.
Anna, who is based in Brussels, asked, “Is this a joke?”
Chi, who is in the United States, said “Naninindig pati ang mga buhok ko sa ulo! Susmaryosep, saklolo!”
AnnDiego K. Guerrero said, “Anak ng jueteng, James Bond 0010 na si Manny.”
Rose made it better-sounding: “Agent 0210.”
When you are so frustrated and feel crying, the best antidote is laughter. Wendell immediately caught on and wrote this script:
Malacañang created a new office named OGAG – Opis ng mga Gunggong na Alipores ni Gloria. Its mandate is to produce laughing matters.
Someone came up with a brilliant idea that since Pacquiao downed Ricky Hatton in two rounds, he will be given only two positions. One is “Special Ambassador for Peace and Understanding.”
This came about because someone asked Pacquiao about peace and order in Cotabato. The boxing icon replied: ” We hab mini pis but the order, few.” They expect Pacquiao to negotiate with fish vendors to lower the price of fish.
Wendell said the position of “Special Assistant to the DOJ Secretary for Intelligent Matters” has to be created for Pacquiao because “Kulang na kulang talaga sa ‘intelligencia’ ang DOJ. Hindi siguro naaambunan ng mga ‘intelligencia’ coming from jueteng lords and drugs lords.
Pacquiao will coordinate with Chavit and Bong Pineda, Alabang Boys, etc.
Wendell said Environment Secretary Lito Atienza will surely not allow himself to be left behind in singing hosanna to Pacquiao. He will soon name him also “special assistant.”
Mike sent this two-part Pacquiao interview.
Part One:
Reporter: Sir, what exactly will you be doing as Ambassador For Peace and Understanding?
Manny: Tenkyu for asking me the question. Definitely and absolutely, I’m for pis. There are many pis all ober the Pilipins. The most famous pis is the pista, very celebrating absolutely. Everybody happy when der is pista. There is understanding in the world when der is pis. Absolutely.
Also, there is another meaning of pis in boxing. When I fight, I fight for the pis, I make pis with my enemies when I knock them out. I make suntok to Hatton’s pis. That is why his pis is not understanding to his mother. That is why I’m ambassador por pis and understanding. You understanding me? Tenkyu.
Reporter: Uhmm… whatever…..
Part Two:
Reporter: Sir, you are also assigned by DOJ to be a spy for the NBI.
Manny: Yes, absolutely. I will wear a costume so dat no one will understand that dis is pacman doing the spy.
Reporter: Huh? What costume?
Manny: Oh that, definitely I will wear spyderman costume. Very absolutely. By the way, I will aslo ask DOJ secretary to also appoint Freddie Roach to assist me because you know, I know and you also know, you know. I hope you know.
Reporter: Ahh.. No I don’t know…???
Manny: Well in dat case, I will also ask Lito Atienza and Chavit to join me in this team Pacquiao so that everybody understand. Oki?
Reporter: Oki.
I-Watcher said his Malacañang source told him that Pacman requested that Nanay Dionesia be appointed presidential assistant on ballroom dancing and DOJ special assistant on dance floor matters.
Elgraciosa said she called up her relatives in GenSan to congratulate them for having an ambassador. She said her GenSan relatives told her they are “fried na fried.”
Pacman can also be agent 0202!
indeed, laughter is the best medicine 🙂
Instead of KING OF THE RING, he will become KING OF JOKES. There will be more Pacman jokes from here on.
Sayang si pound for pound best boxer in the world. Isang PUTOT lang pala ang magna-knock out sa kanya! He will be used like any other lapdog of the putot to do her dirty work!
Akala siguro ni putot, pwede niyang gawing “deodorizer” si Pacman para bumango yung image niya. Hindi oobra. Si Pacman tuloy and bumantot!
Panalo ang script ni Wendell dun sa isang post. Ngayon ko lang nabasa. Di ko mapigilan ang sarili ko sa katatawa. Buti wala ako sa opisina. hahaha..
E di laughing stock na ngayon si pacquiao. Nagpapauto kasi sa mga gunggong.
off topic;
“There is corruption in the church, ………” – Gov. Ed Panlilio mentioned during the 2010 Election Forum.
Very immoral if this is true.
And speaking of jokes, here’s some from Emil of Saudi Aramco:
MANNY “PACMAN” PACQUIAO VOCABULARY
Pacquiao: honey, buksan mo na ung sweets
Jinky : lambing mo talaga muahx3!
Nasan ang sweets honey?
Pacquiao: ung sweets ng ilaw di ako mkakita ang dilim!!
*******************
quotes from greatest warriors:
I came, i saw, i conquered – Julius caesar
i shall return – mcarthur
i wil fight iniwan, iniwer n initaym, you know! – pacman
*******************
(and the latest…)
INRITS YUR BOCABOLARY:
by Manny Pacquiao
TACTICS – tunog ng orasan
PAYT – laban para sa Pinoy
TAYTOL – pamagat ng laban
JENGKEH – name ng dyowa nya?!
NO PEER – sponsor nya
MOTOR KID – pag-ikot nya sa Manila
CHECK IN – manok sa McDo
CORRUPT – pagsara ng mata
MURA LESS – nakalaban nya
WIT – timbang
WAWAWE – noontime show
DUET – gawin mo
L.A. – Leto Atsensya!
QUOTES – tawag nya kay Freddie Roach!
Yan ang napala ng ambisyosong Pacquiao … ginawa ng katatawanan(lafing istak).
Ganyan talaga ang nangyayari pag dumikit ka sa isang Pekeng Pangulo. Tignan niyo yong mga Bar Topnotcher naging gung-gung na. “YES MAN” na sila ni Glorya.
Gusto niyang sumali sa larangan ng politika para hindi na siya mag-boksing ….. MANGURAKOT na lang siya. Wa-es din no?
Ang Coach naman niya dito walang iba kundi ang antatsabol “Weteng King” ng Ilocos Sur na si Chavit.
Agent O210 Pakyaw is going…going…going with Gloria down the drain of shits!
May panahon ka pa Mani para mag-“mental masturbation” at buhayin ang iyong half-dead brain!
To Pacquiao …. please spell to me the words “PEACE” & “UNDERSTANDING.”
Liway, pa-tenkyu nga kay Emil for the laugh.
QUOTES – tawag nya kay Freddie Roach! Ha!ha!ha!
“Can’t sing anthem? Pacman will do it!!!!”
Please huwag po. Para ko ng nai-imagine kung anong mangyayari. Palagay ko pare-pareho ang mga ini-isip natin … lol
Silver,
Maraming salamat at nagustuhan mo ang Memo ni Pacquiao. Isa yun sa press release ng newly created agency of the administration called OGAG whose mandate is to produce laughing matters:
O – Opis ng mga
G – Gunggong na
A – Alipores ni
G – Gloria
This government of Gloria is indeed a laughing stock in the world today. Appointing an agent 0210 without formal training is like appointing James Bond without knowing his mission. Poor Philippines, poor!
I’ve said saveral times, TANGA sila, mula kay gloria hanggang kay siraulo na gagonggonzales pa pati na rin ‘yung kanyang mga advisers at cabinet members na kasama sa pagpaparangal at pag-a-appoint kay Manny Pacquiao as intelligence agent.
Kung hindi ba naman sandamakmak nilang katangahan, gagawin nilang secret agent ‘yung tao sa harap ng publiko, paano makakakuha ng impormasyon at paanong makakapag-operate covertly si Manny, eh hinubuan na nila? Ano pang itatago noong tao?
Hindi pa man, ang nangyari tuloy ay TOP SECRET na naging declassified. Ginawa nilang hubad na larawan.
Wendell,
Gawa ka pa ng marami…hahahha….naiinis na rin kasi ako kay Pacquiao kasi USER-FRIENDLY na siya..
Hhahahahah….
At di ko maimagine na mag-englits ng ganun si manny….you know…
hahaha…sabog ang utak ko tuloy…
Liway,
Nagka-0-2-tay ako sa mga vocabolary mo about Agent 0-2-10!
Bagay silang mag-ninang.
Si Manny the greatest boxer, pound-for-pound.
Si Gloria the most corrupt president, inch-for-inch!
More Pacquiao Jokes
Manny: Pabili ng pilis.
Tindera: Ano po?
Manny: Pilis po!
Tindera: Ha? Dilis?
Manny: Hindi po, pilis po.
Tindera: Ano? Philip?
Manny: Pilis nga! Yung nudols.
*************
Jinky: Inday, kunin mo nga yung VOGUE magazine!
Manny: Mama, vogyu hindi vog.
Jinky: Naku, nakakahiya ka, vog ang tamang pag-pronounce.
Manny: o sige na nga VOG na, there’s no need to ARG.
*************
Waiter: Sir Manny, do you want me to cut your pizza into 4 slices or 8 slices?
Manny: Four na lang, masyadong marami yata kung eight. Baka di ko maubos.
Thanks Tongue. Kasasabi ko lang sa kaibigan ng tungkol sa Pacman jokes. Kaya cut and paste ko lahat ang jokes na naka-post sa ellenville. I quoted some to her when I saw her, sumakit ang tiyan niya sa katatawa! Sabi ko nga sa kaniya, mukha na lang ni Pacman, matatawa na siya! Lalo pa ngayon na binaboy na lahat ng ahensiya sa gobyerno na pagbibigay ng title sa ungas dahil lang sa million dollars niya. Talaga naman ang nagagawa ng pera! Nakakakurakot!!!
Talk of money being the root of all evils!
Manny Pacquiao, Agent 0210? Tinanggap naman ng ungas! Susmaryosep! Utooooooooooooooot! Faaaaaaaaaaaaart!
PSB: Akala siguro ni putot, pwede niyang gawing “deodorizer” si Pacman para bumango yung image niya. Hindi oobra. Si Pacman tuloy and bumantot!
******
Amen.
Kawawa na si Ambassador of Fish and Under the Standing His Excellentcy Manny Pacquiao dahil mula nang siya ay ma-appoint to the position ay ginawa na siyang laughing bag.
Kumbakit kasi gustong gusto niyang mapadikit kay gloria bubuwitre, eh!
Ellen,
Paki stress lang na si Manny Pacquiao ay isang Master Sergeant sa Reserved Force, Philippine Army. What is always written connotes that the Pambangas Kamao is in the active service in the regular force which is not. He is JUST a mere reservist as a recognition for his triumphs in professional boxing courtesy of people na mahusay sumakay at manggamit sa kasikatan kasama na ang yaman ng katulad ni Pacquiao.
Hindi punasok yung previous entry ko: Sa ko ko para ke Manny; “Hindi lahat ng oportunidad ay oportunidad. Tingnan mo yung mga pulitikong nasa paligid mo! Baka masyado kang maexpose sa kanila. Puro magulang na iyan! Ikaw tatay pa lang.” Maniwala ka sa nakakabata sa iyo o sa ka-level mo.” Dalangin ko na maunawaan mo ito.
With all the idiotic stupidities and sickening humor that gloria and her mediocre band of clowns spew out everyday, who needs comedians ?
Now the Philippines have 3 MENTAL institutions. One is in Mandaluyong, and the two others are MALACANANG and the DoJ.
I used to go to the comics section of the newspaper to have a hearty laugh before I read the news. I do not do that anymore. The headlines alone will already make me laugh. It is a lot funnier than the comics section.
I have a suggestion to make whenever the members of congress start to pour into the session halls. Somebody should play Frank Sinatra’s song of, “SEND IN THE CLOWNS”.
Kim, I don’t find them funny, though. I just hate toilet humor.
Tongue, what’s “pilis”.
pilis = payless (instant noodles)
i’m new here in ellenville. good day sa inyong lahat
Welcome, Roland.
Oh that’s what “pilis” means.
Ellen, that is Pacman’s “please”. Heh,heh,heh…
Not to worry Tongue-twisted, I didn’t really mean funny as in truly funny. Ako pa !!! I meant it in a very sarcastic way. Just like the rest of the bloggers here, I puke at the mere mention of the “hobbit’s” name.
HAHAHAHAHA
Kagigising ko lang at di ko mapigilan ang humahalakhak!
Panalo ang enterbyo!
I have lost all respect for this man. His good name will be tarnished forever. Now I regret paying $55 in Pay Per View. Never again Manny. If you have any pride, please have the balls to resist this mockery.